Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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