Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
