you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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