he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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