took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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