So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Holy shit dude........stairs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
