I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
