just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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