Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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