I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she told me i tasted like america
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
