I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
