I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize