Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
