We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
