we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
