was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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