Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
