your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
