am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
