He told me they were just razor bumps!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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