Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
