Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize