They should really pass out barf bags in church
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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