I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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