I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
