He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize