he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
