that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
