either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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