glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
