I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
