So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
