I feel like abortions should bother me more
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
