My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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