if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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