Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
