I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
