He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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