We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
