I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
