Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
