This girl is more easily done than said...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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