What did we do last night that was yellow?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
