well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
