I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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