so that wasnt chicken after all
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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