Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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