I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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