Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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