i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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