My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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