I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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