Sry I called you an 8
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
