I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
