UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think your dad took our porno
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
