he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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