bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
