come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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