Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He felt like a one man threesome
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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