he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
