it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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